Bright Clouds




		He has won the battle with himself, and that according to what he's told me, is the greatest victory anyone could want. .

			Chapter 72 of Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

New York 096 Skyline small New York is a densely packed mass of humanity and all this living on top of one another makes the New Yorker a rare species! It's hard to put a finger on what makes the place buzz so hard, but the city's hyperactive rush keeps drawing people to it. They don't come any bigger than the Big Apple –"King of the Hill", as Frank Sinatra's song goes-"Top of the heap, New York - New York!". It's got its fair share of poor, but it also has world-class museums, big statues, even bigger buildings, all an outrageous excess! New York doesn't go to sleep! You can go out for a pizza, or sushi, or Italian food, at almost any hour of the day or night! The funny thing is that I slept like a baby once it came to 11pm almost every night! The city's traffic runs all night, and people are out and about as if it was the middle of the day. MORE............

My name is Pat Dwyer. I am 44 years old. I am married to Joan for 21 years, we have three children.
I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis in September 2001. Since then my life and those around me has undergone many changes. My message to all those people with any form of MS is never give up hope and do something to keep you sane! I had to give up working in 2003. Any MS sufferer who has been suffering severe upset, terror, anxiety, and helplessness needs some sort of outlet. Being honest, I have lived through a number of dark hours and depression with this illness, sometimes finding it hard to open up and express my emotions. I have found it hard to cry when I should have just let go. I always try to now find ways to express those personal feelings. I suspect for some people that's an extremely difficult thing to do. I truly know what it is to live, day by day, hour by hour with MS and the relentless struggle of befriending a disease that claims so much of your life.

Since being diagnosed with this horrible disease I have written and published two books. I published my first book - poetry (From Thurles to Cuba with Love), in May 2002. It was as if the disease pushed me into doing something I probably would not have done. It is a strange thing but sometimes human frailty and mortality give you adrenaline to do things that you previously only wished for prior to that. The energy comes from somewhere; to me it is like having a kick back at this disease. If life is a series of ups and down, then poetry attempts to paint a map that can better guide us through the valleys so we can find our way to the top of those mountains. Poetry can help to uplift, motivate, and make us look at this world with new eyes and different visions. Poets write in order to capture moments and events in life and give some sort of meaning and reason to this peculiar existence.

When I am feeling down it is lovely to get that anger on a page and hurt nobody. It eats up a lot of bitterness, anguish and resentment on the inside especially in relation to MS. It is mainly therapeutic and it is my best form of self-counselling and controls frustration to a certain degree, always reminding me that nobody really cares or has the time or energy to understand your plight. I do not care whether it is ever recognised as a literary piece of work or ever becomes by accident or otherwise a best seller. What I do know now is that it is written from the very bottom of my heart and not only from my brain or mind. I believe all good poets write from their heart.

In October 2004 I published my second book directly about Multiple Sclerosis, Bright Clouds is my first venture into non-fiction and probably my last! My curiosity directed me to write this book for a number of reasons. The main ones being for personal therapeutic reasons and so I could educate others about this despicable illness. There is an amount of incorrect information written about this disease none more well known than that by famous writer JK Rowling (Harry Potter) whose mother she claims died of the disease. You can't die solely as a result of having MS so you might as well live with it! I educated myself in the process of writing this book and laid some weary ghosts to rest on the way by facing the disease. I spent 13 months researching and writing this book.

I will leave you with a few poems that I have written about MS and some of the feelings I have gone through at certain times with this disease. Poems that are written for all sufferers and are in no way politically correct. They are there to remind all people who do not have the disease to know what it feels like to have it at times. There is no euphoric statement because that would be a fabrication of the truth and I only deal with the truth. If you are not a poet and you have MS why not keep your feelings and emotions in that diary? Creativity is not impaired by illness and sometimes it can be enhanced. So isn't it better to use of your energies on being creative in order to get as much satisfaction as possible out of your life?


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